


Top Ten Reasons We Love Humans

by SunriseMagpie



Category: Humans Are Space Orcs (Meme)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:07:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28141362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunriseMagpie/pseuds/SunriseMagpie
Summary: The Federation’s newest member species may not have a seat on the Council, but they sure do have a spot in our hearts! Here are the top 10 reasons we love these delightful aliens.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 74
Collections: Humans Are Space Orcs, Yuletide 2020





	Top Ten Reasons We Love Humans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redstapler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redstapler/gifts).



**10\. They’re considerate**

Last year, when Central Command lost contact with the freighter _Giant_ , we were all certain that everyone on board had died. But luckily, a nearby human pleasure cruiser saw the crash, stopped to help, and treated everyone’s injuries before transporting them all to the closest refuel station.

**9\. They’re resourceful**

They can come up with the craziest uses for something as simple as a length of rope, which is a real plus when you’re bored on the sixth hour of a nine hour hyperspace jump. But they also plan ahead: most of them carry this stuff called “duck tape” (no relation to the adorable Earth critter!) in their go-bags, which can be used to attach things together and plug leaks on the boring end, or make clothes and accessories on the fun end! Bonus: You can write on it!

**8\. They’re loyal**

Who can forget the story of the human bodyguard to the Dorixian royal family who, when Klabpor pirates boarded their ship and offered her over 80 billion credits if she took the Klabporese ship and left, _turned them down_ and proceeded to stage the most daring escape the Horsehead Nebula has ever seen. All eleven Dorixian royals survived with only minor injuries, and the bodyguard refused to even be awarded a single medal, saying “I was just doing my job. I did what anyone would do in my position.” If only everyone thought that way!

**7\. They’re sentimental**

A little backstory is needed on this one. As everyone knows, humans have two home planets, called Mars and Earth, but what most people don’t know is that the Martian capital, Opportunity, is named after one of the first probes Earthens sent to explore their nearest neighbor. This little robot, while it seems fairly simple today, was highly sophisticated for its time, and only expected to last for 90 local days. Instead, it lasted for over five thousand days before relaying a message back to its Earthen base that there was an incoming dust storm, and its battery level might not be enough to recover once the storm had passed. Earthen media translated this into English, the human language most associated with the Martian exploration project, as “my battery is low and it’s getting dark”. This poetic phrasing captured the human imagination for decades, until the first Earthen explorers landed on Mars and promptly named their settlement after “Oppy,” as the probe was affectionately called. The original _Opportunity_ is now in the Museum of Martian History, and there are statues of it everywhere on Mars.

**6\. They’re creative**

Sure, their scientific instruments are often sleek and shiny, but if you haven’t seen the stuff they make when they aren’t constrained by function or use, you are missing out. Their art ranges from the impressive to the baffling, and they can turn literally anything into an art piece. One super famous piece is literally just a bodily-waste disposal unit that no longer functions. Another famous piece is a small painted portrait of a woman whose name no one remembers, and humans __fight__ to see this piece for even a second! Some of their art, though, actually has a use, or did at one point. While today human burial markers are small plaques, thousands of years ago, the most important humans had burial markers that towered over their cities. Some of the most famous ones are in a district called Egypt, where they were built out of stone and constructed in the shape of pyramids. Legend says there are thousands of invisible ones hidden beneath the desert’s sands.

**5\. They’re real jokesters**

If you’ve ever met a human, they’ve probably tried to get you to believe in some obviously fake fact about humans or their home planets. Ones I’ve almost fallen for include fanciful animals like starfish (their arms grow back!), platypuses (which is a common one, though it fails because there’s no agreement on what the plural is), and jackalopes (how can an animal with antlers be a burrowing creature?).

**4\. They’re very enthusiastic about things they like**

Humans have a wide variety of interests, but almost universally, they love to explain what those interests are. While this can be incredibly boring, it also makes them excellent teachers. Humans even organize all kinds of gatherings just to meet up with each other and talk about the thing they like! These gatherings can be really big ones, like Opportunity Comic Con, which happens once a local year, or more intimate, like clubs at a school that meet every local day.

**3\. They’re emotional**

Due to human anatomy, it’s fairly simple to tell when a human is embarrassed or excited, but even without that, they’re free with their body movements, which serve to indicate their overall emotional state. They can’t seem to resist responding to emotional music by dancing or singing along, and their response to difficult situations is often to “cry,” a phenomenon where their body excretes liquid through their eyes as a way to both express and engender sympathy.

**2\. They’re curious**

Most species have logical reasons for doing just about anything. Not so with humans! One famous human, when asked why he had climbed their tallest mountain, only said “because it was there.” Humans asked about their reasons for space travel often give similar responses: “because it sounded awesome,” “because no one has before,” and “because I wanted to know more,” to name a few.

But above all, the number one reason we love humans:

**1\. They’re absolutely unpredictable**

Every time we think we finally have a lock on what humans are really like, we find out something new that changes everything. They’re a chaotic species, prone to destruction and construction in turns, an absolute contradiction at every level. Committed to individualism and collectivism, self-sacrifice and self-absorption, they somehow managed to create a balanced society that took to the stars. Humans are emblematic of the best and worst of all the species that make up the Federation, all bundled up in one adorable package.


End file.
